Catcher in the University #2

I haven’t met her since last time, old Dóra, but I figured I wouldn’t even have much to say to her anyway. Boy, was I a phony! I screwd up right at the beginning. Worst thing is, I don’t even know why I did that stuff. Hell! I thought I’ve at least gave up this crumby habit of mine, lieing my stupid head off. I don’t know, I sort of felt like I had to be some hot shot to get her attention, for you always have to be a hot shot to get the girls and all. Well, one thing I surely did: I had her attention now.

While having such thoughts I suddenly started to feel very depressed in a way. We were in the hostel room with good old Ezio and it was already about to get damn dark outside. He was lieing on his stomach. You could see he was working hard on some corny masterpiece. „You drawing?” – I asked him anyway. I just felt like talking to him. Or anyone. He’s a good guy and all it’s just that he’s not a man of words you know. „Yup..” – answered Ezio without even looking up, just chewing on his pencil for a tick. He always chews on his pencils. He kills me with that. „You feel like going out tonight?” – I asked in a childish voice. I felt terribly lonesome, I really did. „Nope..” – said Ezio still with that stupid pencil in his mouth and got down to sketching again. That made me really mad. „You’re wasting your time on those snotty drawings instead of making something useful! You think you can make a living out of this anyway?” – I sort of shouted at him. Old Ezio looked up at me for a while. He didn’t sware or anything, but you could tell he was pretty sore about it. These artist guys are touchy as hell when it comes to their work or something. „What are YOU doing?” – was all he said in a calm voice and went back to drawing. He was right. He was goddam right and I already felt sorry about what I’ve said but I just didn’t feel like saying sorry. So what I did, I just grabbed my jacket and headed out of the room. I sort of slammed the door actually. I decided to get out of the hostel and find some good spot in town just to clear my thoughts. On my way down the stairs I was thinkin about old Ezio and that crumby thing I said to him. I couldn’t figure out why I did it, I didn’t even mean it! I truly like his drawings, they are the smartest I’ve ever seen.

As I got out of the building I gave a buzz to Attila, asking him if he cared for a drink or two. He told me that he’s going to write an exam the next day and that he had to prepare for it. But he told me to have a fun time anyway. Fun time my ass. I knew some of the other Erasmus students at the hostel but I didn’t feel like hanging out with them. What would I do with them anyway? Drink some vodka with the Russian girl Natasha who’s neck is twice as thick as mine? Or hang out with the Spanish guys who are hugging and kissing each other in every minute?

Anyway, I got on the bus and headed downtown. I dropped myself on a seat and wanted to get back to my thoughts and all when I noticed these two girls in the back of the bus. They were sort of gossiping I guess and sometimes looking at me. They seemed pretty young and one of them had those helluva lumpy legs, but the other seemd pretty allright though, so I gave ’em the old eye. Then they started giggling like a madman. I stood up and went over, asking in this really corny voice: „Do the ladies speak English?” After some more giggling they told me that they do but believe me they spoke the lousiest English you’ve ever heard in your life. I’m not kidding! After a few lines of speaking we got off the bus and made our way up to the Széchenyi square, which is the main square of town. As it turned out, they planned to go to a party and dance and all but I just didn’t feel like dancing so I asked if they would have a drink with me before the party and they were in.

We went into this lousy bar they suggested. It was kind of small, dumpy and goddam dark. I didn’t like it at all but if the girls want to drink here, let them drink here. We sat down at one of those small tables in the corner and the waiter showed up. At least they had a waiter. I let the girls order what they wished then I ordered a Scotch and soda like I always do. Luckily I don’t have the problem with them waiters anymore, I’m old enough to get my drinks you know. I tried to make up a meaningful conversation with them girls but it just couldn’t work out. Every time I asked some boring question like where they study and all, they could hardly understand me. They always had to ask „what?” two or three times and that made me damn nervous. Not to mantion that giggling they made after each sentence. Hell, I hate that! So I decided not to put questions anymore. If they want to communicate, they will ask. But they didn’t. All they did was, they stood up and explained that they had to go to the ladies’ room. I nodded and orderd another drink. Then I was sitting around, waiting for them about an hour or so. If you think they ever came back, you are crazy. They never came back the giggling bastards! I guess they’ve already left a long time ago, maybe right after standing up from the table. Now I really felt upset and the waiter even sort of laughed at me as I paid the check, he really did! On my way out I got this feeling that the waiter knew the gigglers very well and maybe even saw them going out of the dumpy bar.

Anyway I walked back to the square just to calm down and all, ’cuz I was still kind of mad about what happened. I didn’t mind the girls though, they were stupid anyway, but that laughing waiter! That was what killed me!

I stopped in the middle of the square just to take a look around. The downtown lights looked pretty nice and all, just there were no people on the streets for it was already about to get damn late in the night. Then all of a sudden I felt this horrible deja vou feeling. I felt just like some yers ago, when I was walking the streets alone in the long, bitter night back at home. I’ve already told you about that, haven’t I. The case was all the same now, as I was desperately running around for someone or something that would make me feel allright. God, what a lousy night I had back then! I tried to get my mind of the track so that I won’t get damn depressed about it. I was running through my address book to give someone a buzz as this hand tapped my shoulder from behind saying „Hey!”. I turned around. It was old Dóra’s.